The Padded Cell

I happened to see a link to this article the other day on the MSN home page, and decided to look at it.

It's a post on the Glamour dating blog Single-Ish. I had trouble finding the article again later, since it was written back in mid-november, and the blog gets a lot of posts. Anyway, I couldn't help but roll on the floor laughing when reading it. So ladies, here's a man's perspective on the situation.

Basically the reasons a man goes MIA are, because he did something wrong. Oh, right. There can't be any other reasons. Silly me.

The two reasons given are: 1. He did something wrong or hurtful… and 2. He suddenly realizes he’s headed toward a relationship…

The author highlights that these are based only on her own experience, sounds like she's got some issues.

Let me give some alternate reasons:

1) He realized what a controlling, psycho, paranoid bitch you really were.

2) He realized your body wasn't nearly as good as advertised.

To point 1 from the article, the author says:

I’ve never met a man who liked facing me and admitting wrongdoing. Neither have my friends. I once explained it to a girl like this: A lot of men are all about pride and dignity. Women are too, but we know we can’t survive that way. We might need to approach a stranger and ask her for a tampon. Men can’t or won’t do that. They would run across the street and buy the tampon themselves. But women are willing to show a little vulnerability, admit we’re empty-handed, apologize, and ask for help.

She sets up a nice straw man and then knocks it down. Nicely done!

There’s a book that really drives home this point about pride/shame/ego/dignity and dudes, and it helped me to really see what can go on inside a boy's pinhead. It’s Larry McMurtry's wonderful and short novel, The Last Picture Show. I read it a long time ago, so chime in if I’ve forgotten something. Anyway (spoiler alert), there’s a boy character who wrongs a woman he has been seeing. She is waiting for him to stop by and explain himself, and she is totally ready to forgive him. They love each other. But he never comes back. He is so ashamed. His pride and his embarrassment of his behavior keeps him away. To a woman, that makes no sense. What a waste of a good relationship! Just say “oops, my bad” and we’ll hug you and forgive you. We’re pretty easy that way. [my emphasis] But men just can’t face you for some reason. Next time this happens, just imagine him asking another dude for a tampon. That’s not gonna happen, either.

So, life is apparently about why men don't like to go buy feminine hygiene products. Who knew??

But the highlighted section is what REALLY gets me. "Just say “oops, my bad” and we’ll hug you and forgive you. We’re pretty easy that way." Ho-lee crap! This couldn't be further from the truth. If a guy fucks up, a woman will NEVER EVER let him forget it. Period. Even if she doesn't verbalize it, it's going to be hanging around in the back of her brain, nagging at her, and she'll take it out on him in other ways.

As to point 2 from the blog entry. If she falsely advertised that she wasn't looking for a relationship, then sure, the guy has the right to bail out when he realizes she lied. Plain and simple.

And some parting advice for women when dealing with men: Don't ask the question you don't really want to hear the answer to. If you ask him if your ass looks big in those jeans, when you KNOW you ass looks big BECAUSE it's big, just don't fucking ask. If he says no, you'll know he's lying and will hold it against him. If he says yes, then you'll be pissed at him for being honest. If you love your man, don't put him in that situation. That's pretty simple, isn't it.